One last chance....

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Mary Poppins

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#1
Things haven't been going well for Ben and I. I don't want an in-depth discussion with any keyboard warriors about the in's and out's of his condition. If anyone would like to discuss it privately with me feel free to pm.

The bottom line is that I am faced with 2 options. Having him put to sleep, or having surgery. He is going downhill rapidly and in the words of the vet, he will be crippled if we leave him as he is. There is no option of paddock retirement, and bute does nothing. I can't stand back and watch him deteriorate, so after much consideration he is going into hospital for surgery on Monday.

Depending on what they find, he will need at least 3 months box rest, maybe more. He has a 70% chance of returning to some kind of soundness. It would be great if he returned to ridden work, but if he is paddock sound that is fine as well. There are several yards near me which have no riding facilities, but lovely fields with emergency stables. He would be happy to live out his life there as a much loved pet, and I would be honoured to look after him.

He hates living in, and box rest will be hard for both of us. The danger is that I put him through the ordeal of surgery and then box rest, only to find he is still lame at the end of it and has to be put to sleep anyway. But he is only 14, he potentially has years of life ahead of him, and I think that a 70% chance of an improvement has got to be worth taking.

The surgery is costing £3,500. I may get some of that on insurance, but most I will have to pay for myself. As a mum with 2 young kids, the concept of spending such a large amount of money fills me with guilt. That means my boys will have to go without things that I wanted them to have. They won't have a holiday next year and Christmas will be scaled back. But what else can I do? Over the last few months I have been thinking about what he means to me, and why I have him. My whole life revolves around him and I am a much better person because of him. It isn't about having a horse to go and ride and take to shows, it is about the partnership and companionship I have with him. If I had him put to sleep now, yes I would save money and I would have more money to spend going forward as I would no longer have livery costs. But I would be riddled with guilt and regret about not giving him a chance. My children are amazing, they understand and we have agreed as a family to spend the money and put all our efforts into getting him better. I just hope that I have made the right decision for all of us.

I am sensitive and upset about this, and could really do without the usual nasty comments that seem to attract my threads. If you would like offer some of the amazing magical NewRider support which is the reason I have stayed on this forum for so long, please do. If you have nothing nice to say, please do not respond.
 

Mary Poppins

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Its such a big decision to go to surgery, especially with a guarded prognosis, sending buckets of good luck vibes.
Thank you. It is a huge decision and I have gone back and forth. But if I had him put to sleep I know I would be so guilt ridden and would probably give up horses completely. He deserves a chance, and he might be one of the 70% who do improve. I hope so.
 

sophie33

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What a nightmare situation for you. I think there is no right or wrong but if I was in your situation I too would take the 70% chance. Sending you and Ben all the good luck vibes in the world x
 
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Silvia

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I am sure you have given this a lot of though and you are the one who knows Ben best. Sendung Good vibes for the best possible outcome. If surgery fails at last you will have peace of mind knowing you gave him a chance.
PS: your family sounds lovely and supportive!
 

Mary Poppins

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What a nightmare situation for you. I think there is no right or wrong but if I was in your situation I too would take the 70% chance. Sending you and Ben all the good luck vibes in the world x
Thank you so much. I just have to take the chance and the odds are in my favour. NR vibes are the best, they will bring us the luck we need.x
 

Ale

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Fingers crossed for you both, really hope they find something positive and he does better than expected with the box rest. Big hugs coming your way as what an awful thing to be going through X
 
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Mary Poppins

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I am sure you have given this a lot of though and you are the one who knows Ben best. Sendung Good vibes for the best possible outcome. If surgery fails at last you will have peace of mind knowing you gave him a chance.
PS: your family sounds lovely and supportive!
Thank you. My family are amazing. I am very lucky to have their full support. It would be much harder if I didn’t.
 

tikkitti

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Im so sorry go read this, I understand how difficult this must be, its a awful position to be in. Ben is lucky to have such a caring owner that has carefully thought through the options and i wish you lots of luck with his coming surgery. x
 
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Mary Poppins

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Fingers crossed for you both, really hope they find something positive and he does better than expected with the box rest. Big hugs coming your way as what an awful thing to be going through X
Thank you. I am moving him into a barn which has horses in it most of the time and is pretty full at night, so he will have more company. He will also be able to see his friends in the field and will have much more to entertain him as the barn is always busy with people coming and going. I'm not sure I will enjoy it so much as I like my old peaceful stable block, but it is all about what is right for Ben.
 

Mary Poppins

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So sorry to read this. I can’t think of anything useful to say but I’ll keep everything crossed for Ben and you x
Thank you. I am a firm believer in positive thinking and I think that the more lovely people send positive thoughts for him, the better the outcome will be. x
 

Mary Poppins

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Very best of luck. I agree with others IF the surgery doesnt have thw result you and vets wanted. Atleast you know you tried everyrhing and couldnt have done snyrhing more. Good luck xxx
Thank you. And yes, that is it completely. We have tried everything else possible to get him better. He has had injections, rest, light work, extensive physio etc. There is literally nothing else to do for him apart from the surgery. If it doesn't make it, I will at least be at peace that I tried my very hardest to make him better.
 
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Mary Poppins

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Im so sorry go read this, I understand how difficult this must be, its a awful position to be in. Ben is lucky to have such a caring owner that has carefully thought through the options and i wish you lots of luck with his coming surgery. x
Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. x
 

Star the Fell

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What a difficult thing to go through. I 100% agree with you though. He has a 70% chance of recovery which are great odds. Your family are behind you, you have planned where he will spend his box rest, where he can live out and be happy as a non ridden horse. Like you said, worse case is that he will still have to be pts and you could have saved yourself all that money, but he is your best friend and I think you would forever be asking yourself ‘what if’, if you don’t at least try for him.
I hope the surgery goes well and the box rest isn’t too stressful for either of you - 12 weeks will fly by. Fast healing vibes being sent from me and Mylo xx
 
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