Drummers mum,
Any horse not stopping on cue is a horse that is not yielding.
Yielding is a mental
decision that shows up (is evidenced) in a physical action. Just about every action that we cue a horse to take requires a
yield in the horse's mind, or the action isn't performed properly.
Drummer is not stopping immediately because he is not yielding to your cue fully and immediately. He has un-learned (i.e., regressed, "gotten rusty") at the mental activity of yielding
in the context of communication via the bit.
So the thing to do is to get him real proficient at
yielding in his mind, as demonstrated by his action of yielding
in the context of communication via the bit.
(It is not uncommon for any horse to regress at some action that it hasn't practiced; and, unless we repeatedly practice a horse at the fundamentals, such as yielding in its mind, it probably will regress.)
Before I suggest "how to…", let me comment upon the information you provided:
I lead Drummer around alot (like in the dances with horses book)...
I do the Parelli friendly game...
I lunge very infrequently and when I do, I do it like in dances with horses...
I also do carrot stretches which has lead to me teaching him to bow!
All of this is very good; as it serves well to maintain yielding and acceptable behaviors in other contexts. I advise you to continue.
However, I do not see specific direct
flexion and yield exercises other than the carrot stretch (which although valuable, is limited in effect.) Exercises that are missing are those such as bending to the flanks, Give To The Bit, "…picking up a soft feel", etc. These typically exercise and build lateral and longitudinal flexion (of which the mental yield is requisite.) Lateral and longitudinal flexion are requisite to a good (i.e., effective, light, and prompt) stop.
I'll suggest a few flexion exercises below.
What do you think about going bitless?
Whether you take a horse bitless or not, use a "jaquima" or hackamore, use a snaffle or shank bit, or use a "Cherokee Bridle", the fundamental training issue is to train the horse to softly respond (i.e., yield in the mind to the cue, and act accordingly.)
I use a halter to train or re-train every horse
as the initial means to (re-)train the horse to yield, and I ride the horse in the halter at all gaits (including backup). Then I train the horse to either a snaffle or a "jaquima"; or, all three.
I'm training the horse to yield as a specific behavior under a variety of conditions. I am not training to hardware.
You see, if we train the horse to yield, then it does not matter what type nor amount of hardware that we use to communicate with the horse. (This is why Parelli can do all of the fancy galloping and cutting while mounted on a horse that has no equipment whatsoever on it: no saddle and nothing on its head.)
Contrariwise, if we do not have a good yield in the horse, then we are spending time and effort trying to find hardware that is acceptable to the horse. (Read: hardware that mitigates the affects of the rider's hands and actions, so that the horse will respond properly. Or worse, hardware that implements fear of pain as the underlying training principle to get compliance.)
However, remaining "bitless" does allow one to ride without addressing the training issues that occur when the horse has a bit in its mouth. This is certainly okay if one does not wish to address those issues. Personal choice.
"Bit" problems are just never on my radar screen (or not for long.) Why? Because I train horses to yield; in many contexts; and as we accomplish this and the horse learns to yield as a
habit, the
symptoms (i.e., bit/mouth problems) of lack of yielding disappear.
Basically I think I need to work on balance and getting Drummer to use himself properly and work through his back???
Yes you do; but, after you build a solid foundation.
Yielding is foundational. Get that first, foremost, and always. Then work on Drummer using himself properly. (And, when he yields properly and consistently, he'll do every other thing better; including using himself better.)
In terms of Drummer, I suggest that you implement additional exercises into your regular ground work and riding; exercises
that specifically target the yield; trained to a habit. These are:
1. Work on soft yields of both the head and body on the ground and then in the saddle.
The specific exercises in this category in order of ascending complexity are:
A. Bend the nose to the flank (or knee of the mounted rider.)
B. Backup from the ground.
C. Parelli's Yo-Yo Game.
D. Parelli's Circle Game (with emphasis on a proper stop: a Hindquarter Step-Over at the stop.)
E. Hindquarter Step-Over from the flanks while on the ground and while mounted (also known as
Breaking the Hindquarters Over.)
F. Forehand Step-Over from the flanks while on the ground and while mounted. This and the previous item are the two elements found in Parelli's "Sideways Game".
G. Hindquarters 180 - Frontquarters 180. This another mounted version of item E and F above, run together as a complete exercise. This is published in
Marty Marten's Problem Solving Volume 2.
2. Train Drummer to pick up a "soft feel" on cue while mounted.
This is "tricky" to learn, because you have to get very good with your hands and your "feel"; but, it's worth the effort. The exercise is published in several places, such as
Marty Marten's Problem Solving Volume 2. The action the horse performs is known within the English world as the horse coming "on the bit."
3. Work on transition down with one rein.
Use one direct rein to transition down/slow Drummer by bending his head about 15-25 degrees and hold it until he gets to the required gait/speed. Get him real good at this; then you'll find that he'll be better with two reins (but, never pull back with two reins.)
4. Teach him to back up straight and lightly, using Pat Parelli's "Nine-Step Backup" (or an equivalent exercise.) Then, progress to using just your seat to cue a backup (no reins.)
A horse that backs well, stops well. Parelli's "Nine-Step Backup" is very effective and is published in his
Natural Horse-Man-Ship book.
5. Teach him to stop on a loose rein (using only the seat as the cue.)
Use "life" (energy) in your seat to cause him to move; and, no life to cue him to stop. Train him to listen primarily to your seat, and that the reins are only tertiary (after the legs.)
Summary
The exercises above are merely a sample of those available to help Drummer (re-)learn to yield to your cues. These are what I use daily, and I never have a no yield problem for very long; in short, they work.
However, success with these exercises require that one learns how to cue the exercise properly, and to understand and evaluate proper performance of the horse for each exercise. This can be achieved via study by the human, and practice with the horse.
Also, the descriptions and specific steps of the exercises are generally available by obtaining various books and/or videos. Otherwise, some may be available various training sites on the Internet, or may have been posted (in one form or another) in other threads. We can list the specific steps herein for those things that are not copyright protected, or for the variations that are not copyright protected.
If you do these exercises with Drummer, and get him proficient at doing them correctly, you will not have a stopping problem; nor many other common problems.
You will have a horse that yields well.
I hope this helps you and Drummer.
Best regards,
Harry