As someone who regularly posts and pays attention to the confidence section I am quite offended by this statement. Could you explain why you feel this way?
How do you get it back?
- Thread starter Dizzy Woo
- Start date
As someone who regularly posts and pays attention to the confidence section I am quite offended by this statement. Could you explain why you feel this way?
There will always be those who take a dim view of anything that doesn't work for them with no appreciation of the benefits to others.
It's kind if natural. Just look at how precious we can get about diets or NH or anything else in life.
We could get offended or we could just continue to post what's worked for us in the hope of getting a broad range of answers for people to read through and pick out what might work for them. Life's too short
It's kind if natural. Just look at how precious we can get about diets or NH or anything else in life.
We could get offended or we could just continue to post what's worked for us in the hope of getting a broad range of answers for people to read through and pick out what might work for them. Life's too short
Maybe JC, and don't want to take the thread o/t too much but I understood skib's comment to mean she didn't think people who posted in the confidence section had real confidence issues. But maybe you're right and its actually that she doesn't think the confidence section helps those of us lacking in confidence. I just wish she'd explain her comment a little more but guess that probably won't happen so won't lose any sleep over it. :wink:
again thank you its obvious when pointed out but when its all going round in my pee brain you just feel like a failure, I will take this as a positive observation and learn from it :wink:
PLUS
I would just like to add a big thank you once again to all your advice, I think confidence club has been a real help to me, even in these early days (which I now accept I am in) of my recovery back to where I was.
I rode Daisy in my field for half an hour yesterday, got a bit of a sweat up, she was a real good girl, I willo just keep doing that, if it hadnt been for CC I probably would have made myself go out round the farm terrified, but it was really windy and because of you lovely folks I thought 'no, why push it, stay where I am comfortable and make this a positive experience' and it was :dance:
I am thinking this thread would make a brilliant start to a diary for Daisy and I - any advice on how to move it over??
In the meantime I will ramble here.
The picture below was Daisy and mines last hack out solo before my string of falls, I can remember thinking that although I had to go past a field of youngsters - something Daisy consistently does not like, when they all bound up to say hello- I can remember thinking 'well, I will never actually fall off Daisy as she is so safe'
what an arse I was!
I have decided these falls can be used to turn my (past) over confident attitude around to the positive, I am going to have lessons again, and learn to ride Daisy and lead Daisy, rather than my old lazy self of just following the horse in front and plodding along thinking she was totally bombproof, cos thats probably when accidents happen
In the meantime I will ramble here.
The picture below was Daisy and mines last hack out solo before my string of falls, I can remember thinking that although I had to go past a field of youngsters - something Daisy consistently does not like, when they all bound up to say hello- I can remember thinking 'well, I will never actually fall off Daisy as she is so safe'
what an arse I was!
I have decided these falls can be used to turn my (past) over confident attitude around to the positive, I am going to have lessons again, and learn to ride Daisy and lead Daisy, rather than my old lazy self of just following the horse in front and plodding along thinking she was totally bombproof, cos thats probably when accidents happen
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I'm really really chuffed for you. Horses and riding are fun fun fun. I hope you get get your sense of fun and excitment back that draws all of us back to horses.
Of course, you know you'll get shot if you don't keep us all up to date with how you get on don't you :wink:
Of course, you know you'll get shot if you don't keep us all up to date with how you get on don't you :wink:
There's lots of good advice on here, far better than I could hope to attempt, but there are a few things that have helped me. The Hacking with Confidence cd by Sharon Shinwell certainly helped. I've found that having a foot soldier makes a huge difference, as I feel so much more confident then, the horse is less likely to play up, so I learn to trust the horse and vice versa.
I would say that in my experience I will stay within my comfort zone for as long as I need to, and only start to push myself when I feel ready to, and only by a little bit at a time. I know that if I rush things before I'm really ready, the nerves kick back in, and it sets me back. I think that it's a good idea to let yourself get bored, so you then really want to, say, canter, or go on a less familiar route, rather than force yourself to because you think you should be able to do that by now. There's no hurry, and the most important thing is to build a strong foundation.
I think the trouble with riding nerves is that they're justifiable, not irrational, because you are putting your trust in 1/2 ton of flight animal, and we are only too aware of what can happen. Although there are many things that scare me, I know that most of them will only hurt me mentally and emotionally. When I've made progress with things that I'm afraid of, I've felt quite proud of myself with what I've achieved, and it's helped my confidence generally, so it's had a positive side.
I wish you lots of luck, you will get there, and you have many people who understand where you're coming from, and are behind you. :smile:
I would say that in my experience I will stay within my comfort zone for as long as I need to, and only start to push myself when I feel ready to, and only by a little bit at a time. I know that if I rush things before I'm really ready, the nerves kick back in, and it sets me back. I think that it's a good idea to let yourself get bored, so you then really want to, say, canter, or go on a less familiar route, rather than force yourself to because you think you should be able to do that by now. There's no hurry, and the most important thing is to build a strong foundation.
I think the trouble with riding nerves is that they're justifiable, not irrational, because you are putting your trust in 1/2 ton of flight animal, and we are only too aware of what can happen. Although there are many things that scare me, I know that most of them will only hurt me mentally and emotionally. When I've made progress with things that I'm afraid of, I've felt quite proud of myself with what I've achieved, and it's helped my confidence generally, so it's had a positive side.
I wish you lots of luck, you will get there, and you have many people who understand where you're coming from, and are behind you. :smile:
thank you JC I have been a member for a long time on here but also not that confident about posting as always feel like I have nothing relevant to say - see these falls are opening new doors! positive, positive:dance:
just got to find me an instructor now, or may go over local RS, I can walk her there which is good, but last time I went there they were more interested in teaching me what they wanted me to do rather than what I felt I needed if you know what I mean...........
Try Amanda Barton
http://www.amandabarton.co.uk/pages/about.htm
She has done exactly what you are looking for for us. She is a confidence coach, fab rider and instructor and her kind,positive manner means we always finish our hacking out lessons feeling 10 feet tall!
She lives in Brockenhurst so Bournemouth is not far at all.
http://www.amandabarton.co.uk/pages/about.htm
She has done exactly what you are looking for for us. She is a confidence coach, fab rider and instructor and her kind,positive manner means we always finish our hacking out lessons feeling 10 feet tall!
She lives in Brockenhurst so Bournemouth is not far at all.
I rode Daisy again today, only for about half an hour again, in my field with my friend riding Mr Bentley, it was great, I feel like I have been released to do what I want rather than what I thought I should be doing.
Daisy is usually a lazy lump in the field but we did loads of figure 8's and serpentines in trot and usually she would try and follow Mr B but I rode her through that.
I think all your positiveness is going through my brain into my reins!
thank you all for your encouragement.
Happy Happy Happy
Daisy is usually a lazy lump in the field but we did loads of figure 8's and serpentines in trot and usually she would try and follow Mr B but I rode her through that.
I think all your positiveness is going through my brain into my reins!
thank you all for your encouragement.
Happy Happy Happy
Hey Well Done You! Confidence is a funny old thing, i am still struggling myself... Trying to explain to hubby that i would like him to walk out with me as i feel more confident is hard! I have had my 1st 2 falls in the last couple of weeks of Ace and in a way as i haven't hurt myself i now know what to expect, but in my lessons going over poles oh my god to scary (1st fall he decided to jump the trotting pole by 2 foot). i hope you find a instructor soon, mine is heavliy pregnant as otherwise would recommend her, and keep it going you are doing great x x x
I think really what Skib is trying to say that if you have fallen off, you have a cause for concern. I think what Skib is saying is that if it is just an imaginary fear that is one thing, but when you have come off, there is clearly not just a need for imagining that everything is going to be OK and listening to CD's and having positive thoughts, but that you actually need to take action.
I personally have tried the CD's, the ridden confidence course where everyone stays in their comfort zone and everyone else there is helpful and you can get off or everyone else helps by bringing the pace down, the working out courses of what it is that frightens you, replaying it in a different way, but actually, for me, what is really working is learning to ride properly. I have ridden since I was 7 years old, I have ridden all sorts over the years, good bad and indifferent, but I am now 43 and the bad and the indifferent are not so appealing.
So what is working for me, is learning to ride my horse properly. Not imagining that by thinking it will all be alright, or only riding with people that will let me get off, or not go on that track, or only stick to the roads. Not of course riding with nutters, but learning to cope with whatever the horse is feeling like today on whatever route you are going on. Because, that monkey on your shoulder will soon start telling you that you can't leave the roads, or you can't leave the arena and so it goes on.
But just my opinion! If of course your horse is absolutely fine, and you don't fall off and you just feel nervous, then that is different altogether.
I personally have tried the CD's, the ridden confidence course where everyone stays in their comfort zone and everyone else there is helpful and you can get off or everyone else helps by bringing the pace down, the working out courses of what it is that frightens you, replaying it in a different way, but actually, for me, what is really working is learning to ride properly. I have ridden since I was 7 years old, I have ridden all sorts over the years, good bad and indifferent, but I am now 43 and the bad and the indifferent are not so appealing.
So what is working for me, is learning to ride my horse properly. Not imagining that by thinking it will all be alright, or only riding with people that will let me get off, or not go on that track, or only stick to the roads. Not of course riding with nutters, but learning to cope with whatever the horse is feeling like today on whatever route you are going on. Because, that monkey on your shoulder will soon start telling you that you can't leave the roads, or you can't leave the arena and so it goes on.
But just my opinion! If of course your horse is absolutely fine, and you don't fall off and you just feel nervous, then that is different altogether.
I don't disagree at all with that and I too have started to cope with my confidence through improving my riding, particularly my seat and generally having more stick-ability. It definitely helps to feel I have a better chance of staying on if something were to happen.
What I object to is the dismissal of the the sentiments of the group. Practical advice is one aspect of this forum, but just as important is the emotional support we all give each other. That's what I object to.
Once again, sorry for hijacking your post Dizzy!!
What I object to is the dismissal of the the sentiments of the group. Practical advice is one aspect of this forum, but just as important is the emotional support we all give each other. That's what I object to.
Once again, sorry for hijacking your post Dizzy!!
Well, I have had a week of riding in my field now and whilst it has got a little boring as I am not that good at motivating myself, on the whole it has been a really positive time and no pressure has been great.
However, as I ride round my field I look longingly at my daughter who has been off plodding round the farm solo and so in a minute I am picking her up from school and we have arranged to ride out round the farm together :frown:
I am excited but apprehensive, there are a couple of fields with big bouncy young 'uns in and I know they will come bouncing up to Daisy and she hates that :frown:
but I have decided instead of avoiding this I am going to face it, dismount and walk past them a few times with some polo's to try and make it a happy memory for Daisy, the only trouble is that I know where these bouncy young 'uns are there are no convenient logs or lumps to hop (clamber) back on so it will mean a bit of a walk for me before I can remount, but that is my plan............
However, as I ride round my field I look longingly at my daughter who has been off plodding round the farm solo and so in a minute I am picking her up from school and we have arranged to ride out round the farm together :frown:
I am excited but apprehensive, there are a couple of fields with big bouncy young 'uns in and I know they will come bouncing up to Daisy and she hates that :frown:
but I have decided instead of avoiding this I am going to face it, dismount and walk past them a few times with some polo's to try and make it a happy memory for Daisy, the only trouble is that I know where these bouncy young 'uns are there are no convenient logs or lumps to hop (clamber) back on so it will mean a bit of a walk for me before I can remount, but that is my plan............
Wey Hey not only did I ride round the big scary farm, I led round the big scary farm as my daughters 101% wonderful pony would not go infront of Daisy :dance:
Still could hear my heart going boom boom boom but it was a bit better than last time and I noticed Daisy was as cool as a cucumber the whole journey.
Bouncy young 'uns had already been put to bed when we got to their field so will overcome that another time.
Happy :biggrin:
Still could hear my heart going boom boom boom but it was a bit better than last time and I noticed Daisy was as cool as a cucumber the whole journey.
Bouncy young 'uns had already been put to bed when we got to their field so will overcome that another time.
Happy :biggrin:
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