in plain English as best I can . . .
'phases' = levels of pressure or, if you prefer, degree of insistence in your 'ask' (aid).
Hmm - odd terminology for plain English
- there is no such term as 'your ask' in English, plain or otherwise. 'Your question' or 'your request', certainly; 'Your asking' is also a possibility; 'your ask' is not. It's a bit like the word 'rythmatic' mentioned by Kate Wooten. With English being the de-facto language of international communication, we do non-mother-tongue speakers a disservice by using anything other than correct English, whether that is correct American, Australian, British, Indian, or any other English.
However, back to the subject in hand - I rarely use actual physical pressure and concomitant release as a primary means of instruction, command or request when I am on the ground. I use mainly simple verbal and body-language cues. I also do everything I can to minimise or avoid the escalation of any requests, whatever form that request takes. Neither do I 'insist' on anything; instead I
expect it. I find expectation to be much more successful than insistence, and far easier!
What do you do on the odd occasion when you do not get a quiet and polite response I wonder?
I had to think hard about how to explain this, as my off-the-cuff answer was 'it depends'. The (not nearly) full answer is very long, but in essence is still 'it depends' ... so here goes.
Gaining the attention of a noisy, rude and disruptive child - or even class of children - is not best done by shouting, but by whispering. One does not effectively quieten – other than for the briefest moment - a barking dog by yelling at it. It is the same with horses, except that they are not noisy in the sense that we, as humans, understand 'noise'. 'Shouting' at the horse – whether literally or metaphorically - is not the way to grab its attention in any situation other than the most dire of emergencies, and certainly not the way to encourage learning, or a quiet and polite response from the horse.
When I do not get a quiet and polite positive response, I will not follow up with being noisy and impolite myself. My best, and first, human teacher of riding and horsemanship – an elderly man – always told me, and I believe him to this day, that the horse is the mirror of the man. I would prefer to see a pleasant and polite reflection, not an ignorant gobby one!
My usual response to a horse's 'rude' behaviour (again, other than in an emergency situation) is to turn my back and ignore both the behaviour and the horse. I also make great use of my other horses as 'good examples', and ensure that whatever I ask a horse to do is easy and comfortable.
It is a little more complex than that, of course, and presupposes that the horse has learned, and now recognises very clearly, that being near me and interacting with me is a very good and advantageous place to be and thing to do.
I also consider that there is a great – huge! - difference between getting a response which in human terms would be 'NO! Why the f**k should I?' and a response which, again in human terms, would be 'Eh? yer w0t?', 'No, I can't', 'Hang on, that's scary!' or 'What? How? I don't understand'.
The latter group of responses are solely the result of
my inefficient communication methods, and demand that I look at
my behaviour, not that of the horse.
The former response may be the result of inefficient communication on my part, or may result from a previous experience of the horse in question.
Whichever, I do not consider that former response is appropriate or acceptable, so I merely ignore it, walk away or turn my back, and shortly thereafter ask clearly and quietly for something which I know will be given willingly, and praise abundantly for it.
Depending on what question was answered 'rudely', and how, and the horse's background, I may well not ask that specific question again for a significant period of time – hours, days or even weeks. I will ensure that the horse is giving me soft, eager and willing responses to a series of related requests before slipping in the request that has earlier received the rude response.
Some people will say 'how about dangerous kickers, or biters, or a horse that charges you in the field – how can you avoid fights and arguments and escalations in that sort of situation?'
Well, sometimes you can't, and of course your own and other people's safety must come first if a horse exhibits dangerous behaviour.
Confrontation is rarely a good idea – it merely confirms us as predator and the horse, who we wish to be a companion, as prey. However. I am not the least bit afraid of confronting a horse WHEN NECESSARY.
I am, though, of the opinion that much, or even most, 'dangerous' behaviour can and indeed should be merely avoided; situations can usually be engineered to increase or even ensure the safety of the human without disturbing the horse in any way, and if the trigger which causes the dangerous behaviour can be identified – as it usually can, with observation, unless the horse has a physical or psychiatric illness – then it can also be avoided or modified.
I try never to argue with a horse until we know each other very well indeed. It takes two to argue, and if one party does not react, the argument dies a natural death. By the time an argument might prove appropriate and constructive, my new equine friend and I will be able to have the argument without any rancour - as one has friendly arguments with trusted friends - and I
will win as I am the one who gets to pick the argument! I am also very good at arguing quietly and persistently, and putting my point across clearly and unambiguously. If a situation arises where a new horse insists on arguing with me, then I simply avoid that situation for a while, essential health care excepted of course – in which case I will use whatever means may be necessary to enforce the care, be they physical or pharmacological.
I can't play the piano ... that does not mean that the methods and materials were no good, just that I did not have the understanding, application or enthusiasm to become a great (or even mediocre) pianist
Of course we cannot all become world-class 'whatevers'. However, I am of the opinion that the great majority of us can become competent at most things, given a modicum of understanding, application and enthusiasm, and appropriate tuition of a type that suits our learning style and life style. The lady concerned has a great deal more than merely a modicum of the above requirements, as well as a great deal of time.
Regarding the piano, I am sure that if you had really wished to learn to play competently, you would have been able to do so, given suitable materials and teacher. However, I am equally sure that neither a home-study course on piano-playing, nor any half-decent piano teacher would leave you with the impression that you would be able to learn musical competence on an untuned piano, would they? I do wonder quite where so many people get the impression that they can learn 'natural horsemanship' of ANY brand by following one of these programmes on, or with, the equine equivalent of an untuned piano.
The silver lining will – probably - be a nice Welsh Sec D mare; the cloud is that she is rather large for 5ft, 8 stone me. Other than my faithful Arab, who I have had for ten years now, and will be with me until the end of my or her days, whichever comes first, nowadays I don't want anything over 13.2hh – too much like hard work!
