It's one of those times where I really do need an impartial point of view, as I don't know what to do, so I am asking you for your opinions.
In a nutshell, one of my best friends got married a couple of weeks ago and I only found out when someone posted photos on Facebook. She didn't elope, she had a big white wedding at a local celebrity wedding venue (George Clooney had part of his wedding there). I was absolutely gutted not to be told about it, let alone invited - if only for drinks afterwards - bearing in mind that we've been friends for 15 years, had our ups and downs, been on holiday together, moved abroad together, she was one of the few people I told when I eloped with my now-husband, she gave me my 'something borrowed,' we were the first people to tell each other when we got pregnant. She came to my 40th earlier this year, and I had no hint then that our friendship had changed in any way. I asked her why she didn't tell me, and she said that it wasn't about me, it was about her, and she was traumatised by her first wedding (he was a massive twat, to be fair - we had a huge falling out because he tried to get off with my sister, so I wasn't invited to the first wedding either!) and just had to get through the day, so 'only close friends and family' were invited. This is the first I knew that I am not a close friend! And also, if you really wanted a low-key wedding, wouldn't you just have one of those? I don't know whether to feel hurt, or stupid because I've obviously completely misjudged our friendship.
Anyway, she suggested we meet up on Friday and I said yes, but regret that now. I just don't really want to see her at the moment. Given my current take on this, I think we'll argue and it'll be awful - and I don't see the point of some pretend friendship where we're just going through the motions and it doesn't really mean anything. Friendships can't go backwards can they? Can you go from being really close friends to 'mwah mwah daaahling' friends. I don't really want a friendship like that anyway.
OK so that wasn't really 'in a nutshell.' Am I being melodramatic? Do I need to just get over myself? I still feel really hurt and upset every time I think about this, and it was a month ago now.
In a nutshell, one of my best friends got married a couple of weeks ago and I only found out when someone posted photos on Facebook. She didn't elope, she had a big white wedding at a local celebrity wedding venue (George Clooney had part of his wedding there). I was absolutely gutted not to be told about it, let alone invited - if only for drinks afterwards - bearing in mind that we've been friends for 15 years, had our ups and downs, been on holiday together, moved abroad together, she was one of the few people I told when I eloped with my now-husband, she gave me my 'something borrowed,' we were the first people to tell each other when we got pregnant. She came to my 40th earlier this year, and I had no hint then that our friendship had changed in any way. I asked her why she didn't tell me, and she said that it wasn't about me, it was about her, and she was traumatised by her first wedding (he was a massive twat, to be fair - we had a huge falling out because he tried to get off with my sister, so I wasn't invited to the first wedding either!) and just had to get through the day, so 'only close friends and family' were invited. This is the first I knew that I am not a close friend! And also, if you really wanted a low-key wedding, wouldn't you just have one of those? I don't know whether to feel hurt, or stupid because I've obviously completely misjudged our friendship.
Anyway, she suggested we meet up on Friday and I said yes, but regret that now. I just don't really want to see her at the moment. Given my current take on this, I think we'll argue and it'll be awful - and I don't see the point of some pretend friendship where we're just going through the motions and it doesn't really mean anything. Friendships can't go backwards can they? Can you go from being really close friends to 'mwah mwah daaahling' friends. I don't really want a friendship like that anyway.
OK so that wasn't really 'in a nutshell.' Am I being melodramatic? Do I need to just get over myself? I still feel really hurt and upset every time I think about this, and it was a month ago now.