I expect your to knackered from all the work, but are you having a teeny tiny celebration that youve got an empty house this evening.
Wish us luck D Day Tomorrow
- Thread starter diplomaticandtactful
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Did that and caught up on episodes of Spiral while hugging Sam cat and hoping he will get well. Didn't sleep at all well. Task for rest of week is getting tablets down him and removing all the junk from our house so it looks less of a bombsite.
And today mother back to being a bitch and one emergency trip down there so far. No end to it really, would have been nice if we had a bit of respite from her moods, demands and general attitude. I am bone tired. the house is filthy, looks like a junk shop, i started trying to get it back in order but gave upas just too weary. And Kimme poodle is not well, so what with Sam just back from ER I really have had enough.
Talk about rains but it pours! High time that black cloud moved away from your space. Hope Kimme improves, and no more furry dramas. At least you can escape your mum for a spell, now she's settled. I was going to say, don't let the mess bother you, but I know I can't sit in mess and disorder - makes me down and edgy. You'll probably feel a little better if you can work up the energy to tackle it. Your exhaustion must be twofold - physical, after all the work of moving stuff, and emotional, with all the negativity you get. Easy to say, but you really do have to look after you at some point. Hugs anyway, for what they're worth.
Little steps. Yesterday changed 1 standard lamp and put in its replacement, removed 4 lamps of mum's and found a home for them, stripped the linens in her room ready to prepare it for xmas. Cleaned hall table and put up xmas card racks. Took down final 2 suitcases of her clothes and unpacked them, she was in a foul mood, better today. This morning i have remade the bed in her room, going to clean and hoover the room and bathroom, then take the dogs out and get her bank account sorted which means a 40 mile round trip. Tomorrow will tackle main bathroom upstairs and hallway and possibly other 2 bedrooms as the just need a hoover and bit of surface cleaning.
Main areas are kitchen - filthy - downstairs bathroom ditto - utility room beyond disgusting as cat food all over floor will will need scraping and steam cleaner. Try to do a room at a time. Has 4 xmas cakes to make, booked trailer to go to the dump on Sunday. Just lots.
As hard as it sounds I think you're going to have to stop being at her beck and call. She's in her own place now and she has support provided there so if there's a problem contact them and let them deal with it. I'm not saying walk away completely, but don't let her rule your life either so maybe a reply of we'll be over tomorrow rather than drop everything and run. If you don't make her give you a break you're going to be ill, and if that doesn't bother her then maybe she should realise that if you're laid up then you won't be able to run round after her.
I hope Kimme and Sam both improve enough that you can stop worrying about them too xx
I hope Kimme and Sam both improve enough that you can stop worrying about them too xx
we have to do her shopping, she is registered blind, and housebound, so you can't just walk away. anyway was in slightly better mood this morning, her raised toilet seat has arrive which will bring boundless joy and i have to buy some sponges as the carers complained that I hadn't any there when she had a shower this morning. you aren't just dealing with mum it's the joys of the care team as well, getting told of for not signing forms, which no one told us we had to do....
I think there's a difference between a weekly shopping trip and having to dash down for an emergency trip a couple of days after she moved in. I never said walk away, just make it clear that you need time for you and your life.
problem is there is limited capacity in the fridge and freezer and you never know of the stuff that is there the carers have used or what is running out. or what they have thrown out as they didn't use it while in date and anything that goes a day over date they would throw out, even if there was nothing else there.
been dealing with them for years, all very elf and safety. Also you are rarely dealing with just one and you get some nice ones and some who aren't that great. anyway, we have bought a board where we have listed exactly what is in the fridge and freezer, the use by dates, and added notes like use in next 2-3 days.....I have now purchased 3 sponges and more shower gel - there were flannels for washing but no they wanted sponges not Christy face cloths x 4......matching the towels and shower mat. Have bought and fitted a booster loo seat, which has grab frame, so the frame she was using is now in the boot of the car....i keep hoping that one day i will actually NOT come back with more stuff to get rid of.....went all the way to Nationwide to move an account, closed on Saturday....went back today, closed at 1400, i was there at 1500, didn't notice they were keeping daft hours. so have to go back tomorrow another round trip of 40 miles what a blooming waste of diesel and time.....today i started to try to clean my own house and catch up....will we be ready for xmas, no idea.
Just a thought, but I seem to remember my mum having ready meals delivered weekly. I think they were either microwave or oven ready, and kept out of The fridge/ freezer? She didn't love them, and as she got more frail, I ended up taking a couple of home cooked meals in each week, that would keep in the fridge. She did enjoy some of them though.
Been down that route already, the Wiltshire Foods, the Cook.co, the ready meals from the butcher etc. We took down a home made shepherds pie last night. This morning she is morose, wants to go home, feels claustrophobic in the flat. But then if you rang her at home, you get the same, I've lived too long, I'm tired, no one comes to see me etc. I have done my best, the flat is lovely, it is warm and cosy, apple juice and eggs and ham will be delivered to her today. I think i will let OH do it.
Big hugs @diplomaticandtactful , she sounds like she's just determine to try and make you feel miserable and guilty. If your OH is prepared to do it I'd let him for the next few visits, you badly need some time to rebalance and look after yourself x
thanks i have had this all my life and i am just so sick of her, i really wish she would just go and die as that's what she wants. But of course we plod on and do our best. she really is quite a monster, very hard to like at the moment.
This is what Mr KR's Mum is like, there really is no pleasing her, every single suggestion he makes is met with an objection, everything he offers is not good enough, it's very tiring and there comes a point where despite how much we love them, no I can't help you right now, but will speak to the care team is the only response. Sending you massive hugs @diplomaticandtactful x
Neither of us went down today, i had to do a home check for a dog and was running late so came home did the equine team and now typing up the home check form.
My MIL is exactly the same
If we still lived closer she'd have him there at ten o'clock at night to make her a cup of tea. She's been playing the old woman card since she hit 70! Sometimes I'm glad that there is distance between all our relativesnewrider.com