Oh my - roll on the move, and the end of your nightmare. At least you'll be able to put some distance between you.
Wish us luck D Day Tomorrow
- Thread starter diplomaticandtactful
- Start date
what really annoys me is the way i am made out to be a liar. I have hung up 18 pairs of trousers, I bought 54 coat hangers and have used most of them and that's not counting the ones i already had, i have hung up around 80 garments so far and more to go but she says she doesn't have that many clothes. There is a large case full of underwear, and another 12 skirts up at home and two chests of drawers which i fear are full of more stuff....will find out tomorrow
Went up again yesterday, have packed a further 12 skirts, 15 jackets, about 100 scarves, never got as far as the linens. Filled 3 boxes with ornaments so far just the sitting room.....must have been up and down the stairs 50 times, came home absolutely knackered.
I thought i had cracked the mum move into a flat. On Friday drove 2 hours each way, spent 5 hours loading the horse box - yes so full i had to leave a few bits behind but thought at least on the home straight. This is after 3 cars loads of stuff coming down, flat painted and decorated, the walk in wardrobe full of unloaded clothes - around 120 items at least....and hours listing stuff on ebay preloved market place gumtree only for sod all to sell.
All needing to be done is unload this lot, go and get the furniture which is coming, and get auctioneer to take rest. Auctioneer doesn't want any of it, will charge just to take it away and mum had another eruption last night.
I got to the stage that i told ok we will pay to take everything back up there, reinstate it and you are on your own. On the one hand all i get from her is you are doing too much, you will kill yourself. Who does she think is going to do all this clearing out, the Tooth Fairy of Mary Poppins. For the first time she is seeing how knackered OH and I are every time we go up there - on an emergency - and why she can't stay there as we can't support her and there is no one else THERE! Got the what will i do down here if you die, well the way you are going that's a strong possibility! Got the she is fed up, just dump everything outside and burn it - don't tempt me.
OH and I spent half of yesterday unloading what we could from the horsebox that would go straight in. Discovering that the microwave is too bloody big pity as it was the heaviest thing i lifted on Friday. Discovering we have 5 duvets, 5 sets of bed linen. Managed to put a picture up found that the chest of drawers we had brought will fit after all - thank god as it is bloody heavy too! There are 3 vacuum cleaners, 1 steam mop...ok i need a new vacuum here but some poor sod has had to carry them downstairs and load, unload etc.
Feeling just a tad cheesed off.
Have parked the box at the kitchen door - drove over the lawn to do so, so that i can bring boxes into kitchen, assess and repack to sell, charity shop or go to flat.
All needing to be done is unload this lot, go and get the furniture which is coming, and get auctioneer to take rest. Auctioneer doesn't want any of it, will charge just to take it away and mum had another eruption last night.
I got to the stage that i told ok we will pay to take everything back up there, reinstate it and you are on your own. On the one hand all i get from her is you are doing too much, you will kill yourself. Who does she think is going to do all this clearing out, the Tooth Fairy of Mary Poppins. For the first time she is seeing how knackered OH and I are every time we go up there - on an emergency - and why she can't stay there as we can't support her and there is no one else THERE! Got the what will i do down here if you die, well the way you are going that's a strong possibility! Got the she is fed up, just dump everything outside and burn it - don't tempt me.
OH and I spent half of yesterday unloading what we could from the horsebox that would go straight in. Discovering that the microwave is too bloody big pity as it was the heaviest thing i lifted on Friday. Discovering we have 5 duvets, 5 sets of bed linen. Managed to put a picture up found that the chest of drawers we had brought will fit after all - thank god as it is bloody heavy too! There are 3 vacuum cleaners, 1 steam mop...ok i need a new vacuum here but some poor sod has had to carry them downstairs and load, unload etc.
Feeling just a tad cheesed off.
Have parked the box at the kitchen door - drove over the lawn to do so, so that i can bring boxes into kitchen, assess and repack to sell, charity shop or go to flat.
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She has no idea how lucky she is, having you. None. You're a blinking saint.
Another major eruption last night. We had agreed that we would bring the two chairs but not the sofa as it just is too big and will make moving around the room difficult, plus only place to put it is right in front of the only radiator so you just cook the sofa….She also never uses the sofa as she can't get up and down from it.....and OH and i would find it hard to carry it and get it in the horsebox never mind have to carry it up stairs at the new flat as i wouldn't go in the lift.
Hamilton Auctions don’t want ANY of the stuff and quoted a huge price just to take it away. I spoke to British Heart Foundation, but they won’t take it as it doesn’t have fire reg labels. Mum then in bewilderment says but you are bringing the sofa. No we are not, it won’t fit. So she says well don’t bother with the chairs, and I say so where are you going to sit, on the floor?
She wants to go back home, the stair lift is out 99% of stuff is here and in my bloody garage or at the flat and now she wants to go home – again! And she can’t cope at home. I lost my temper with her and all shes says to Dave is well you move in there then. Totally irrational. Daft thing is I am already blamed for her moving to Wishaw – a house she doesn’t like – she can’t manage there, it will be endless 4 hour trips where you come back exhausted, and every time you ring her you get moan moan moan about how lonely she is etc.
Same day I get the results of my blood tests and xrays, High blood pressure, arthritis worse, why should I worry….
Honestly i just wish she would die. Terrible I know but what on earth to do with her.
Hamilton Auctions don’t want ANY of the stuff and quoted a huge price just to take it away. I spoke to British Heart Foundation, but they won’t take it as it doesn’t have fire reg labels. Mum then in bewilderment says but you are bringing the sofa. No we are not, it won’t fit. So she says well don’t bother with the chairs, and I say so where are you going to sit, on the floor?
She wants to go back home, the stair lift is out 99% of stuff is here and in my bloody garage or at the flat and now she wants to go home – again! And she can’t cope at home. I lost my temper with her and all shes says to Dave is well you move in there then. Totally irrational. Daft thing is I am already blamed for her moving to Wishaw – a house she doesn’t like – she can’t manage there, it will be endless 4 hour trips where you come back exhausted, and every time you ring her you get moan moan moan about how lonely she is etc.
Same day I get the results of my blood tests and xrays, High blood pressure, arthritis worse, why should I worry….
Honestly i just wish she would die. Terrible I know but what on earth to do with her.
I so feel for you. I hope that having us to rant to makes it a bit more possible to cope, but I doubt it. At least you can say what you like on here.
Oh @diplomaticandtactful I wish things were easier for you, sending you a ton of good vibes, it’s so bloody difficult isn’t it?
We’re now at the point with MIL where she’s refusing to get out of bed, refusing to eat more than a teaspoon of food and keeps telling us she’s dying. I’ve told her if she carries on the way she is she will die, she keeps laying the guilt trip on Mr KR saying if you loved me you’d be here every day to take care of me...... arghhh
We’re now at the point with MIL where she’s refusing to get out of bed, refusing to eat more than a teaspoon of food and keeps telling us she’s dying. I’ve told her if she carries on the way she is she will die, she keeps laying the guilt trip on Mr KR saying if you loved me you’d be here every day to take care of me...... arghhh
Get her in there and just maybe, she'll be what passes for happy for her. Easier said than done, I know. But she'll have company, and maybe that will take the pressure off you. Keep ranting on here - everyone's rooting for you.
You poor thing, i really feel for you. I am trying to avoid this at all costs. They really do the guilt trip and emotional blackmail
been down to the flat, taken out 3 doors to make it easier to navigate with a trolley/walker. Put up six pictures and 2 mirrors. Finish them tomorrow. Had another chat with my doctor, starting to take pills for high blood pressure as it is through the roof and he is concerned that with the stress i am under i could have a stroke or heart attack. I know one of the ladies who shows donkeys, used to see her at all the local shows, she had a stroke year or so ago and left in very bad way. Have resisted going on meds for ages as i am a bit marginal, i.e. if someone nice takes my bp it's lower, if a certain nurse does it it's high as i don't like her!
Lots and lots of soothing / calming vibes. Get it all off your chest here if you can. Old people can be so selfish and frustrating.
thanks i have done over 110 hours work so far and must have another 4 full days at least before there is any chance of moving her in.
Please, please be kind to yourself, the last thing you need right now is to make yourself really ill or worse.
I really hope I am like my parents when I’m old, if I turn into a selfish old curmudgeon I hope someone will shoot me.
they all say that, gran said that and mum said that too but it never rings true when it happens.
Yep my mum said it about her mum. Funny enough shes doing the same thing. I think people get to a certain age or point where everything is just too much trouble, so they just sit in it and do nothing. Noticed my mum is passing the buck to me loads lately. Things like well you call the vets. You do that. You dish the dinner up.
that's about it, to avoid everything we just "I cannae see" all the time but funnily enough out in the car she can see very well.
Please take care of yourself diplomatiandtactful. Being a carer (officially or otherwise) is incredibly difficult and as much as it's an act of love and practicality, it can be a huge burden and put all sorts of pressures on you.
There are people you can talk to and that can help practically, so please make use of them if you need to.
I do think ageing can be a very difficult thing. I'm sure it must be frightening, frustrating and as difficult for the elderly as it much as it can be for the other people involved.
Thinking of you all and sending lots of love.
There are people you can talk to and that can help practically, so please make use of them if you need to.
I do think ageing can be a very difficult thing. I'm sure it must be frightening, frustrating and as difficult for the elderly as it much as it can be for the other people involved.
Thinking of you all and sending lots of love.
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